2009: Wine & Dine.

This past month, I've been aimlessly walking around muttering to myself "2008 needs to end NOW." And finally, within a matter of hours, the New Year will be creeping up and bringing hopefully better fortune and happier times.

This year started out wonderfully, I was dancing on clouds. But as I progressed through the spring months, my good times came to a screeching halt and I was suddenly forced to grow up. Grow up too fast, if you ask me.
2008 was unfair, my time was robbed and I was bombarded with responsibilities up the ass.
I don't have much to complain about. I know, people are living lives much harder than mine, but I guess I just wasn't ready to handle any of this. I've grown weaker.

The year's cons outweigh the pros by twenty fold.
And I can't express just how sad this year has made me. The only things that really got me through this obstacle of a year were first and foremost, Jesus Christ, and secondly Brian, my boyfriend. The only two constant things in my life.

So am I excited about 2009?
Nope. I enter 2009 with no expectations, taking life as it's thrown at me.
Am I hoping that 2009 will be better?
Hell yeah. I think we all need that.

Happy New Year, everyone!
And God bless our upcoming year.

Two Two.

Last night consisted of my cousin turning twenty two, dinner on Vermont at Pallermo's, a movie at The Grove, and back to Vermont for a karaoke session.
Oh, and the karaoke place had Love Lockdown by Kanye, it was just as horrible as the actual song.





He's my Power Ranger partner.

Juicy Christmas.

My Christmas evening was well spent at my Uncle's house in Newport Beach in Orange County.
His house is incredible, my dream home. Christmas was awesome this year, spending time with my extended family, catching up with everyone, and exchanging gifts.

Let me tell you, gathering over twenty middle-aged to senior Korean folks in one room definitely causes a chaotic medley of the Korean language mixed with English and the occasional obnoxious cackle. Everyone is loud and intently bragging about their own kid. It's great. It's my family.







More surprises tomorrow.
I'm stoked.

Lights, Christmas, Action.

It's mind boggling to compare and contrast Christmas 2007 to Christmas 2008.
The same time last year I was writing in my Livejournal about how I hated someone that had wronged me, I hated the Holidays.

But 2008 has brought me some of the greatest gifts such as memorable times and special relationships.

Christmas is a time to appreciate one's family and gives one a chance to express love and gratitude. But most importantly, Christmas is about the birth of Jesus Christ, the Messiah.

Far too many times have I stressed about the meaning of Christmas, and what it really is about. As corporate consumers, we indulge ourselves with extravagant presents and overwhelming sales, however many of us lose the reason we celebrate CHRISTmas. It's all for Jesus.
All though, I will say, I do love presents!

Merry Christmas, everyone!
And Happy Holidays.

Good or Bad.

Hopeless.

QT.

Heart Cleansing.

Today was a "normal" Kim family day, except we went to Lake Arrowhead and Big Bear Mountain. This is no where out of the ordinary for my family, we do like to venture on quests to various locals where we experience new things and places.
The rugged terrain forced us to attach snow cables (the simpler version of snow chains) to our RX and we continued to drive north for only one purpose: to play in the snow and walk around in 35 degree temperatures.









We ate, we played, I fell.
As I was walking around the town of Big Bear, I was calmly thinking to myself, "Damn, good job, Jane. I'm surprised I haven't slipped or fallen yet."
Then the next few seconds that followed were a bit fuzzy, and all I recollect is my brother laughing and picking me up and of course my sore ass bottom, I had slipped on ice.
SO graceful.







Heading down the mountain was prolonged due to constant brake lights being shoved in our vision. The sun was setting and as the clouds lay upon the purple sunset, I attempted to take a nap, but I was no where near successful. Other drivers were honking, braking, and definitely antsy to get down the tedious lump of snow covered dirt.

To top off our tiresome day, my family and I dined at a Chinese/French fusion restaurant in San Gabriel. Newport Restaurant gathers a hefty waiting list of hungry asians wanting lobster, crab, and shrimp. I wasn't too hungry to begin with, but I was captured by the architecture and decorative pieces that surrounded. Plus, shrimp and crab aren't good for my health, another story for another time.









I'm tired, my butt hurts, and all I want to do is talk with my BF.

Almost at Double Digits.

Today was a frigid 57 degrees of pure loveliness.
Today was full of ups and downs.
Today was absolutely perfect.



"Your face right now looks like the time I first saw you..."

Under the Weather.

Literally.

Freedom, alas! Hardly.
How is it that right after finishing my finals I am struck by the common cold? It must have been the unexpected torrential conditions that wreaked havoc on my body. I was a skeptic about winter coming around this year, I mean afterall it is Southern California, I wouldn't have been surprised if it stayed 90 degrees year round. Preparation, I wasn't prepared and my body was just tired, I was asking for it.

Yesterday was my last day of finals and I was stoked, however I did have the normal cold symptoms like a runny nose and a mild cough, nothing too crucial. Finals weren't the last of my day, my parents dragged me up into the mountains of Angeles Crest Forest to go "look" at snow. I honestly was expecting to come home, drink some tea, and watch TV, but my parents wouldn't let me be. They insisted it would be so much fun and that looking at snow cleanses the heart. Rubbish. I sucked it up and went to go see snow, and it was beautiful. However I was carsick the entire ride and to top it all of my parents wanted to take me out to dinner and walk around in negative temperatures at The Americana at Brand. I came home, and knocked out like a oversized bear in hibernation.
My mind was murdered and my body was being tortured, but it certainly was lovely.

I woke up this morning expecting to feel somewhat better, but I was way worse. My head seemed to have a mini jack hammer slamming away at my brain, bricks laying on my back, a never ending fountain in my nose, and a cough that shook my entire body for what it was worth. Again, I took some Theraflu and fell asleep like Sleeping Beauty, minus the beauty.

I've been in pajamas all day, watching The Office: Season 2, laying with my cat, and BBMing on my phone.
Thank God for Blackberry Messenger and my boyfriend.

Some long overdue pictures from the beginning of December up to now:


















Keep warm, take Airborne, and go look at snow.
It "cleanses the heart."

I Dread That.

I was gorging on my cheeseburger and french fries from In-N-Out, when from the corner of my eye I spied a white teen, about the age of 17, who fashioned on his head a gnarly set of dreadlocks.
He was pasty, medium build with some meat on his bones a.k.a. "baby fat," he wore an army green military style jacket with matching pants, and I'm going to guess a Sublime shirt he probably stole at a Hot Topic sale of some sort.
Probably doesn't even listen to Sublime. Whatever, besides the point.

Black people with dreads, that's normal.
But white people with dreads? C'mon.
It has nothing to do with a white person's heritage, it's not natural or hippie like, and it sure as heck doesn't look good.
No one will admit it, but I have this theory that people only have dreads so they don't have to wash their hair anymore. That's gross, and smells.

I just don't understand what makes someone wake up in the morning and say, "Damn, I am white and would look SO good with dreads."

NO, you wouldn't, buddy.

The Big One.

I swear the last time I watched Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Khloe Kardashian was chubby. But I guess she finally shed the baby fat and models her bare skin for Peta.





Thanks, Khloe, for representing curvy girls all around the world, and of course giving a voice to animals.
LOLZ.

Aunt Flo.

I feel like I just got shot.
Well, I feel like how I imagine being shot is like.
I can barely open my eyes, I'm always cold, and I'm so cramped that the only remotely "comfortable" position to sit or lay in is the fetal position.

Goodness sake, why does a woman have to go through twelve period cycles a year? WHY?
Ready to make babies year round? Hardly, I'm twenty years old, couldn't I have started menstrating when I actually wanted to have kids?
But if that was the case, I'd probably be rambling about how I wanted boobs and curves instead of this "period" blog.
So I guess I do thank my period for coming, for giving me decent sized breasts, and curves that belong on an Arrowhead water bottle.
But still.

Yes, I'm on my period.
And all I want is a gallon of pistachio ice cream and some sappy ass movies.
Oh, and of course, my boyfriend to snuggle with.
Damn, that boy is so fucking warm. :]



But since I don't have that, I'll just sit on my couch in my oversized sweats, with my dorky glasses, sip on a Gogurt and watch some Oxygen. Alone.
While falling asleep to the faint sounds of my Blackberry. Glamorous.

It hurts.
Shoot me now.

He's Soooo Cool.

Why on Earth?

What the Corps.

God bless this man and his life.

Prayers and thoughts go out to this fellow Korean, and definitely my prayers go out to the pilot who was trying to stabilize the aircraft. He did his best.

Oh, Lord, help us now.

Link Courtesy: CNN

Super Glue, Please.

Today at dinner, you made me want to die.
I don't think I can sit through another quiet meal, with awkward silences, and rude sarcastic remarks coming from one mouth.
How much longer do I have to live through this agony?
How much longer are you going to live dysfunctional?

I am tired, and I beg you to stop.
If you have an urge to speak your smartass remarks, please, spare us and keep it to yourself.
My head is about to burst.



And the sad thing is, you will probably never read this.


Image Courtesty: Injury Lawyers

Femme Fatale.

Kiss my neck, suck on my lips, breathe heavily into my ear, grab me with force, give me chills as you graze my curves, whisper dirty little things, call me pet names, make me do bad things, touch me, choke me, bite me, lick me, and leave me marks.



In song,
In poem,
In literature,
In speech,
In stares,
In touch,
In love,

Tell me I am "beautiful" one thousand times.

Sing-a-Long.

I can't believe it has already been two years since High School Musical's premiere. Yet, I have never gotten around to watching the High School Musical series.



So tonight I sit here on my living room couch, procrastinating on my studies, watching High School Musical 1, 2, and someday I shall watch the 3rd.

I always thought the trilogy was pretty ridiculous and not worth watching, but I will say that I was wrong. The songs are pretty catchy, and the dance sequences definitely want to make me get up and move around.

Let's never speak of this again.
I feel so lame.

Travelling Student.

So I spent that last hour and a half deciding what classes I wanted to take, and precisely how my schedule will be for my Spring 2009 Semester. And let me tell you, my schedule is pretty outstanding.

Tuesday/Thursday (01/20/09-05/18/08):
CADV 250 (Child & Adolescent Dev.)
MATH 140 (Statistics)
RS 204 (Religious Studies)
PSYCH 150 (Human behavior & psychology)

I know I'm going to need to amp up my study habits, also known as, actually reading textbooks and promptly doing assignments.

On a side note,
I need to have this Pan Am One bag. Immediately.


Pan Am One -$90

Not neccesarily the Marc Jacobs collaboration bag, although that would be a plus but I am aware that the collab. bag is very limited and a bit pricey now.
The bag comes in both Royal Blue and Vintage White. I'm definitely leaning towards the blue, only because I believe it can easily give a bland outfit a pop of color.


Marc by Marc Jacobs -$64

What would I use this bag for you may ask?
I know that Pan Am is known for their durable bags that come in various carry-on size which are very convenient and light weight.
However, I would be using this bag not only for travel but:
For school, carrying my books and my laptop.
For the gym, to carry runners, a change of clothes, and a hoodie.
For casual use, shopping around town or even running errands.

I HAVE TO HAVE IT.

You.

I feel like it's been months since I last felt the warmth of your body and the security from your hugs.
We've been on our own schedules and own mentalities the past few weeks, and occasionally we may have our outbursts of battles.
But I go to bed, not afraid, I go to bed knowing that you love me just as much as I love you, knowing that as you rest your head on your pillow you hope and pray to God that you dream about me, just as I hope and pray to God that He would fill my dreams with visions of us together. Those are always the sweetest of dreams.
I go to bed knowing that petty little fights and your physical absence will never stray my feelings for you.

You have been my best friend, and the one who's been strongest for and with me.
Life issues have been hording me left and right, and sometimes I wonder when God will make things easier on me, but you reassure me and constantly remind me that my life is good.

I don't know what else to say except that I simply love you.
No other words seem to suffice, and the most appropriate thing to say is: I love you.

Is this too mushy? Perhaps.
But after all that we've been through, I think there is plenty of room for mushy.

Almost nine months, and definitely counting.


Image Courtesy: iStockphoto

Raw Emotion.

I am fucking pissed off right now.

All optimism has officially left my body, my mind, and my spirit.
Thanks.

When It Rains.

Of course I was a little upset after an entire day of no rain when clearly Weather.com stated that there would be daytime rain today.
But sure enough the rain fell tonight, and I couldn't be happier. I'm definitely not one to enjoy the rain too much however as I've "matured" the rain has become nothing but a work of art that depicts my emotions lately.
Not sadness nor carelessness, but definitely a feeling of much needed rest and relaxtion.

I'm not too sure how to explain my attitude lately. I guess all the positivity that was once in me has slowly been fading away and has been rottingly been replaced with poisonous negativity. For those who encounter my attitude on a daily basis, I truly apologize. Especially to my boyfriend, he gave me the biggest wake up call today. And I demand that it be mandatory for me to snap out of this funk I've been in.

I've been so slothful too, wanting to be out of reach from the world and only talking to a few friends here and there. I rarely use media networks (ie. Myspace, Facebook) and I've been less than moved to write any sort of blogs.

I think the heat drained everyone. I've felt like a dinosaur these past couple months. Practically all the moisture on dry land has been sucked away but tonight the Earth is replenished.

And plus its always lovely at night listening to the raindrops drizzling outside my window while I lay tangled in my sheets daydreaming about my boyfriend, and how it will be when he finally comes home.

This weather change is making me crazy.

Oh, Lord.

"Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father, you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust"

Jersey Number 3.

As the "last" days of summer have gone by, I've grown increasingly heavier.
It's a subtle difference, one that only I notice, but the small pounds that I have gained need to leave immediately.

I was on such a good routine of running/walking three miles at the Pasadena Rosebowl, but as a priority school always comes first so I have been pushing my fitness aside.

Not tomorrow though, I shall continue by three mile exercise and reward myself with something delicious to eat afterwards. I hate how out of shape I've become.

When I was in highschool I had such a fit body. Due to being on the Varsity Volleyball team, I was forced to run a minumum of two miles, crunch over three hundred sit ups, press up to two hundred military bench presses, sit on an invisible chair for at least five minutes (by the way, gives you the most disgusting burn on your calves and thighs), and on top of that we'd have an additional hour of just straight volleyball practice including mock games, and if any team member screwed up on a drill, we would have to run "Suicides."
And this was every single day.

I mean, these exercises were mandatory for me if I wanted to look any good in those tight ass spandex shorts. Cellulite was not an option for me.

So since college started I haven't been too active, just the occasional trip to the gym and that's about it. Everything has been at my own pace.
It's time to whip my body back into shape and into good health.

Fit body, healthy body, happy body.

Live, Learn, Ride.

Believe it or not, it has taken me over twenty years to ride a bicycle.
Well, I guess the average age for learning to ride a bike is about 6.
So it's technically taken me over 14 years to learn to ride.

Everything started out very normally when I was a kid. My dad bought me my dream training bike. It was hot pink and had a white basket up on the handles and even had flower decals on the frame. I was pretty eager to ride my bike.
After a few days of riding with my training wheels still attatched to the rear wheel, my dad was teaching me how to balance on my own when he tragically broke my training wheels.
I was pretty much forced to figure it out without my back up wheels.

A few days past by, and schedules got busier meanwhile I began to lose my drive to ride my bike. I never knew what was ahead of me and the many years I would continue to have to say, "Yeah, I don't know how to ride a bike."
People always gave me the "wide eyes and dropped jaws" look. I was never ashamed, I just looked at my "disability" as being my thing, my trademark.
Instead of cycling with the other kids, I would rollerblade around and I took it seriously.

Of course, I attempted to ride bikes here and there, but I could never seem to balance correctly. Gravity would always defy me and I'd tumble to my side.
I simply just gave up and accepted the fact that I would never ride a bicycle.
Until November 18, 2008.

Low and behold, after my first trip to the Pasadena Rosebowl, I began pedaling on my own.
My dad recently bought me a new bike, a youth bike just for training. He believed it would take me at least 2 weeks to fully learn how to ride a bike. I thought the bike was pretty cute because it was purple (my favorite color) and it said "Lady Goose" on the center part of the frame.
But after just 2 days, I am cycling all on my own, all on two wheels, balance and poised.

Now that I've finally mastered riding a bike, my dad has promised me to buy me a bicycle of my choice.
I've been debating between a beach cruiser or a road bike. So difficult.

My butt is sore, but let's ride.


Image Courtesy: Mongoose Bikes

Well Handled.

I thought I'd try something different today by writing earlier in the day, after all I did have a very obscure and eventful morning.
Waking up and getting ready for school was nothing out of the ordinary, just my routine of getting up around 6:30 and getting out of the house by 8:15 to beat all of that early morning freeway traffic.
Side note: Traffic is the worst when you're rushing to get to your first class.

So my trusty car, Amadeus, rolled his wheels onto the entrance of the 210 West near the Lake Avenue ramp when suddenly the Nissan Pathfinder in front of me slams the butt of a poor Honda Element SC.
The Element had no idea what to do. So he slowly made his way over to the shoulder and as I was passing by I could feel the agony and anger from both drivers and both cars.
What a morning for them.



I continued to drive without a thing phasing me, traveling at a very normal speed of 70 mph, a Toyota Prius has the balls to tailgate me for a good 12 miles. I refused to budge since I was not in the fast lane nor was I interrupting traffic, the jerk needed to move on his own if he had a problem with my driving.
Then after the some 12 miles, he switches over to the lane left to me and he continues to go at my speed while staring at me and smiling. Mind the fact that he looked about my dad's age.
What a creeper.

After all of that madness, I had finally arrived to Northridge where my humble campus stands. I found great parking and I was even 20 minutes early to my class. I was pretty proud of myself. It's great having plenty of time to look over assignments and walk at steady pace to my farthest class on campus.
But in my steady trek to class, my peace was disturbed.
With my head buried in my phone, I hear a guy "hollering" in the distance approaching me.
He continues on and I begin to make out what he is saying, "Damn, girl, you have thighs like black girl. You must be like a 36-24-36 (referring to my body measurements). Let me get at that."
I looked at him in disbelief, and softly said back, "Honey, if you want to get at this, get at my boyfriend first. You actually think you got game?"
The foolish boy laughed and his friends started clowning on him.
What respect and what guts.

What a GREAT day.
Mind my sarcasm.


Image Courtesy: Autobytel

Little Minds, No Hearts.

To be completely down right bitchy, I would really appreciate if people would knowledge themselves before writing. Writing aimlessly and out of one's ass is very healthy, but at the same time disgustingly dangerous.
I've recently found myself browsing across pure ignorance and it makes me laugh out loud to know that people actually think they're making a point or making a difference.

In no way shape or form am I saying that I'm some sort of glorified writer who knows all of the facts and current events that are needed to be known to be a great humanitarian.
I am thousands of journeys away from that.
But we should all at least try to make sense when we're writing.
Not only should one be book smart when writing, but one should also have some heart or one may result in looking like a selfish fool.

So be smart and have some apathy.
Save me the trouble of writing another worthless post about the wrongs.

I'm so sick of myself ranting about problems of the world.

Wants vs. Needs.

He's definitely both in this case.

Oh, Smokey.

God be with all of the families that are experiencing all of these hardships due to the fires that are spread across southern California.
The firestorms are raging across brush area and various homes.
It is so scary just how quickly fire can jump from city to city, ruthlessly.

Fire departments are trying their best to contain these fire, much thanks to each and every brave hero.


Chino Hills area on 11/16/08.

I am so grateful for the hard working firemen that slave through the nights to save houses and lives.

Let's cool down.


Video Courtesy: YouTube

Point Break.

Running off of an uncomfortable 4.5 hours of sleep, I have finally reached my limit.

I need to sleep.

Dear You,

I just need you to know that I love you a lotto.

Essentially Mine.

I bounce back between two styles. And sometimes I mesh both.
"Simple lines with a bit of ghetto fabulous."
That's how my boyfriend always describes me.
What can I say? I love both the simplicity of preppy and the hard edge to street wear. I definitely think that both looks can be pulled off together in some way.
Either that, or I must look pretty whack and none of you guys are telling me.

But anyways, I've composed fall/winter must haves for myself.
If I don't get these, I think I might die. Not really.


J. Crew - $65.00


J. Crew - $79.50


Tory Burch - $195


Married to the Mob - $132


Married to the Mob - $40


HellzBellz! - $110


Nike x MOB - $?


So do me a favor and buy me ALL of these.
If only we were made of money.


Image Courtesy: J. Crew, Tory Burch, Karma Loop, & SLAMXHYPE