People are disappointing.
As my life progresses, I think that I experience disappointment from every single person that has crossed my path. It's to the point where I've almost become numb to the let downs. I've questioned myself many a times, "Am I taking things too seriously or sensitively?" or "Why do you let it get to you?" But honestly, I've really been trying my best to do my part, and sometimes the other people's efforts just don't seem to be there. I know I can be a flake at times, but I try to correct those blemishes. I officially do not depend on people. This does not mean I have lost hope in people, but I'd rather not depend on them and set myself up for disappointment countless times. All of that is way too much time and energy I could be putting to good use in other aspects of my life.
It's sad because even months ago, I would've bent over backwards to make sure both efforts were made in any type of relationship like making sure I saw certain friends and initiating conversations with people I have lost touch with, but lately everything has been a mess in my life, and I just want to be selfish for a little while, I have a lot on my plate. I think that isn't too much to ask. Frankly, I have no clue where I am going with this. There is no conclusion or solution to this "dilemma" but I think if I didn't write about this, my heart would literally burst into a bloody mess of tissue and arteries.
Don't be afraid of disappointing me, because I really don't care anymore.
Correction: I don't care to a certain degree.
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